taking stock
So this week started & i just couldn't. Yesterday by lunch break all i wanted to do was get out of the office for a bit - which i did but it still wasn't enough. It felt like there was a dark cloud hanging over me & for the first time ever i considered that i might be depressed. So even with all the backlog of assignments, i mustered the guts to walk into our chief's office & ask for a break. At first she said no - because of the backlog - but then, thankfully, she reconsidered. So today i have spent a cloudless day in bed.For the remainder of the week i am going to also not show up for some other people but at this point better them than me. Moral of the story: please advocate for yourself my love.
Financially, i am not doing so well either. I had debt from last month, chipped into some family stuff & in one fell swoop, i cleared out my short term savings - partly to support myself & partly to purchase stock for my online shop. I need to do better when it comes to managing my money if i want to afford the lifestyle i desire. Speaking of lifestyles, some guy offered to pay my rent & asked me to 'please use him'. Thing is, that is not the kind of life i am trying to build for myself. I want to be fully responsible for meeting my own needs + if i let him, he would gradually become entitled & you know that the hand that feeds you will surely starve you. So no, thank you.
The only thing that i feel is thriving at the moment is my friendships. I feel like my girls have been present & constantly checking up on me. 4 different mamas, some of whom who don't even know each other, have come through for me. I hope i they also know that they can rely on me.
