Sinking Ships
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| Source : Pinterest |
Darling,
Did you watch the show Girlfriends? Or How I met your mother? Or Will & Grace? Or even Sex & The City ? I long for friendships like that. I do not have real friends outside my family & it is my fault. Mostly. For the longest time I actually preferred it that way because it always felt easier to just drift in & out of people's lives, unattached.
After moments of brutal self reflection, I can now admit that the drifting in & out was always for self preservation. For instance,there are those friends of mine who have more money than I do & they constantly want to hang out, I gradually stop hanging out with them because it gets embarrassing for me having to constantly tell them that I am broke. I mean, once or twice is acceptable, but when it's more often than not it gets awkward for them & myself. Then there are those friends who only reach out to vent about guys & life, again, once or twice is acceptable but anything more than that overwhelms me because I am a fixer. How can I make it better for you? What do you need? Of course I can talk /listen. Like before, I gradually start to ghost them instead of setting clear boundaries & enforcing them. Finally, there are those friends who ghost me. One minute we are tight as thieves & in the next I'm getting one word responses. So in this case, like my fellow millennials, I am left with no option but to flex my fall back game. I honestly think that under the right conditions, I would make a dope friend & girlfriend but also I have always believed that ships are not my thing. Even when dating, in the past every guy got 6 months tops then I was out. My current one is pushing 2 years & I honestly don't know what to do with it because I always have a plan & past 6 months I'm just making stuff up as I go. I legitimately wish I was in the arranged marriage era so that if that ships sinks, I only get less than half of the blame. Being an adult (& adult ships) really does suck.
Book review :In Skye Warren's Escort ,Hugo, a male escort, falls in love with his new young client, Bea, who is a virgin & as rich as an Argentine. For me it was a shallow read. Now reading CD Reiss' Rough Edge.
Did you watch the show Girlfriends? Or How I met your mother? Or Will & Grace? Or even Sex & The City ? I long for friendships like that. I do not have real friends outside my family & it is my fault. Mostly. For the longest time I actually preferred it that way because it always felt easier to just drift in & out of people's lives, unattached.
After moments of brutal self reflection, I can now admit that the drifting in & out was always for self preservation. For instance,there are those friends of mine who have more money than I do & they constantly want to hang out, I gradually stop hanging out with them because it gets embarrassing for me having to constantly tell them that I am broke. I mean, once or twice is acceptable, but when it's more often than not it gets awkward for them & myself. Then there are those friends who only reach out to vent about guys & life, again, once or twice is acceptable but anything more than that overwhelms me because I am a fixer. How can I make it better for you? What do you need? Of course I can talk /listen. Like before, I gradually start to ghost them instead of setting clear boundaries & enforcing them. Finally, there are those friends who ghost me. One minute we are tight as thieves & in the next I'm getting one word responses. So in this case, like my fellow millennials, I am left with no option but to flex my fall back game. I honestly think that under the right conditions, I would make a dope friend & girlfriend but also I have always believed that ships are not my thing. Even when dating, in the past every guy got 6 months tops then I was out. My current one is pushing 2 years & I honestly don't know what to do with it because I always have a plan & past 6 months I'm just making stuff up as I go. I legitimately wish I was in the arranged marriage era so that if that ships sinks, I only get less than half of the blame. Being an adult (& adult ships) really does suck.
Book review :In Skye Warren's Escort ,Hugo, a male escort, falls in love with his new young client, Bea, who is a virgin & as rich as an Argentine. For me it was a shallow read. Now reading CD Reiss' Rough Edge.
