loving well
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| Source: Pinterest |
I have come to the realization that I love relationships. I am fascinated by them & I genuinely enjoy hearing about relationships that are doing well. On a personal level, I am determined to become a person who loves well but one person at a time because having too many deep connections at once drains me. Therefore, I am constantly trying to understand how the people I love want to be loved.
Earlier this week, I was listening to Camila Cabello's Real Friends & it made me ruminate on just how lonely our generation is even with the world being a global village. It reminded me of the times I have needed to talk but did not feel comfortable enough with anyone in my contact list to reach out. Hundreds of people & not one. So I asked my boyfriend if he ever feels lonely to which he replied not really. Interesting, I thought out loud. He proceeded to explain that maybe it had something to do with how he was raised ; to always be self- sufficient. This answered so many questions for me because I was raised quite the opposite way; to lean on others & to offer support at all times. So how do we come to a common ground where I don't see his being self- sufficient as being aloof & where my leaning on & offering support does not come off as being suffocating?
I am also trying to be more intentional about my friendships too.One friend, I have noticed likes regular talking over the phone as opposed to texting while the other enjoys texting here & there & burger dates where we catch up one on one.
Then there is me. While I am learning how people want to be loved, am I aware of how I want it & am I communicating it? My boyfriend & I both prefer texting but we defer when it comes to how much texting.I like constant texting about every single thing but he would rather text maybe morning or evening & that's that. So we have settled on texting in the morning then at night so that way we both win. Also, I was listening to Esther Perel's talk on Modern Love and Relationships & she stated that there is a difference between surveillance & intimacy & it made me wonder where my, sometimes frequent, 'what are you up-to' texts fall.With my friends, I like to be in sync. I like it when they are honest about their highs & lows because in turn that gives me permission to let my guard down & share as well.
Book Review: My latest read is Steve Richer & Nicholas Gifford's A Perfect Tenant. After 20 years of planning, Libbie is finally set to exact her revenge from the picture perfect Tom & Alice Granger. From this book, it was interesting how easily something taken out of context can make even the most innocent of gestures look scandalous. It was a quick but absorbing read.
