Cos I'm a proud woman

Darling, I have not had much to say. Work is going well. I actually enjoy it and my shift too. My colleagues are pretty easy as well.
I saw a quote about how sometimes even brave women fall in love with cowards & I thought to myself how true that is. I have been reading Jackson Biko’s pieces on Men & Marriage and they are annoying. Well written, riveting but annoying to the woman in me. Hurricane was the worst one for me because I legitimately think that the guy was weak and selfish. I am so done with men without a backbone. I truthfully do not think that there is a bigger turn off for me than that. If the guy had stood up to his mum in the beginning all the heartbreak & pain could have been avoided. I feel so strongly about it because I was in love with a guy who could not make decisions. At first I mistook it for caution then it dawned on me that he really could not make a decision & stand by it. Usually, he would wait for one of his boys to make a move then he would follow suit. It worried me because I kept wondering what the rest of our lives would look like because I on the other hand have no qualms about making decisions even when I am wrong. I knew this was a red flag & that I ought to run for the hills but I was in love. So I soothed my doubts & justified his indecisiveness. Well, you know how that turned out.
Now I am reading Doctor Happy & I feel like I have water in my stomach. I am at the point where he gives his wife his old phone which has the texts from his girl on the side. I just do not understand why a man who is admittedly happy at home chooses to mess with the status quo by seeking out his old flame. These stories are really doing a number on me. Let me finish reading this one then I will give you my 2 cents.

All done. So it bothers me that it took his wife ‘cheating' on him for him to realize how terrible it feels to be cheated on but I am glad they figured it out. I am happy that their marriage is blossoming but I take issue with how much the wife had to put up with to get to this point. Recently I see posts about how we have to stop making it seem like to get to a strong & happy marriage, women have to persevere through drama (cheating scandals) in the onset & I agree. I know & respect that different people journey differently but personally something deep within me rejects that for myself.


PS. Listen to Rosie Lowe's Woman