curious about : infidelity
I am interested in learning more about infidelity. What pushes individuals to be unfaithful? Was it merely physical or something deeper ? After the excitement of being naughty, was there guilt? How did you cope with the guilt? What did you think would happen when you were found out? Was the excitement worth the pain that followed? Have you had an emotional affair without the physicality? How was it? Did you try talking to your partner about how you were feeling?
How did you find out? What was your reaction? What was your first thought? Did you want to hear about the details or not? What questions did you have? Did you blame yourself? Were you conflicted, maybe because you’re in love with someone who betrayed you? How long after did you decide to jump ship or to stay ? Was your decision in any way influenced by anyone outside your relationship?So many questions.
Yesterday I listened to I’ve Had 100 Conversations with You in my Head on Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin? Podcast. On is a therapy session for a couple dealing with the ramifications of the husband’s infidelity. They want to heal their marriage. So how does she trust him again ? But more importantly, how does he gain back her trust? How does she get the images of him with the other women out of her head? How does she believe him when he says that he wants to be with her & that he loves her? Did he try hard enough with her before turning to other women? Did she ignore his needs? Does she feel the urge to punish him?
I listened another one of Esther Perel’s talks where she articulated that just because someone cheated, it does not mean that they are the bad person in the relationship & I understood. Infidelity is wrong, agreed, but what are the motivations. This mama has made me look at relationships with brand new eyes. Did you know that love & desire are perpetually warring?
